Bad Beats

We've all taken them. We don't want them. Are they unavoidable? If not, how do you play through them? Most people I know go to their favorite website or 'blog, and post them for all the world to see. Some even ask for advice with the phrase, "What could I have done differently?" Now, I've come to the conclusion that there are really only two valid responses to this, and either one may or may not be what the person wants to hear, so, I've come to the conclusion that in my life, I don't want to hear any bad beat stories. I won't write them anymore, (Well, maybe just one), and I won't read them either.

So, here it is, for your review, my last bad beat story. This really sexy model type walks up to me, and we start chatting it up to the point where she moves in to kiss me, however, I have to push her away, with the phrase, "I'm married." She reacted as if she'd just had a heart attack.

By now I'm guessing you've realized that I'm not limiting my bad beat stories to actual card playing. Because as I've said above, it all boils down to, you played the hand wrong, and playing it differently won't give you the desired result, which is to win the pot, so, why bother telling me about it? If it's cathartic for you, that's fine. It's just depressing for me.

However, since I've got about another 900 words to go, I'll give you in vivid detail, how to deal with a bad beat, so that you won't have them anymore. In life, as well as at the poker table.

Avoidance would be the best way to not take a bad beat. Don't put yourself into a situation wherein you allow the bad beat to occur. At the card table playing Texas Hold 'Em, this either boils down to going all in pre-flop, OR, folding. These are the ways to play the hand differently. Or in the case of folding, not playing the hand at all. For the most part, going all in pre-flop makes you the aggressor. In life, it's a little different. I can only imagine this, as you all know, my life is poker.

So, in my hypothetical situation above, who actually took the bad beat? The sexy model, or myself? Well, as she was dealing with limited information, and I'm the one telling the story, for the sake of argument or discussion, we'll assign her the bad beat. It's easier to analyze this way. For her to not take this bad beat, she shouldn't have walked up to me in the first place. Or, alternatively, walked up and kissed me right away, without even introducing herself. When I was a young and single lad of legal consenting age, this was a fantasy of mine. It was fulfilled in my twenties actually at a bar. It lasted until the woman found out that I was a starving artist, to the point where my acting coach was picking up my bar tab. And you need to know at this point, I drank heavily in my youth. Not so much anymore, I limit my drinking to Super Bowl Sundays, and the occasional trip to the Magic Castle .

But I digress. The above aggressive action by the sexy model would've changed my behavior. Obviously, for this to occur, we need to embellish the hypothetical situation a touch. Let's see she saw me talking to the guys from work after a long hard day. She's out of earshot, so, she can't really grasp the conversation, which on my end would go something like, "I need to calm down before I go home and take out my anger on my family. Bartender? I'll have another beer please." Yeah, I know, I missed an opportunity for a potentially profitable product placement. In any case, I'm drinking, so, I've let my guard down, and my reaction time is down.

With the following limited information in hand, the woman walks up to me and kisses me. I guess she thought I looked sexy. I probably do, however, since I don't post a picture of myself to go with this opinion piece, you'll have to take my word for it. My reaction to her would probably be the following, "I'm really flattered, but I'm married." This way, I let her down easy, and she's cheered me up. I don't think either of us take a bad beat here. The conversation might continue, it might not, however, I believe I've illustrated my point. Furthermore, I've been told that I'm an easy read. If this is true, why'd she walk up to me in the first place, knowing that I'm happily married, with 2 kids, living the life in Redondo Beach , CA ? After all, I don't want to be an easy read, and again to underline, this is a hypothetical situation. Kind of like The Lakers' Coach resigning, and Phil Jackson coming back. Oh, wait. That might actually happen.

Lest you confuse this opinion piece with an advice column, I give you the following warning: In Life, You're Always All In.T Once you make a choice, you probably can't undo it. This raises the question, "Wouldn't it be easier if life had a ^Z command?" Well, sometimes you can apologize, and sometimes you can't. And again, I'm giving my opinion, and not advice. The advice column is three websites down, and on the left. Which reminds me of a funny story: A guy walks up to a security guard, and asks, "Where's the Men's Room?" To which the guard replies, "Down that corridor, turn right at the BlackJack table, and you'll see it." And points. The man goes scurrying off, with that waddle which I probably can't describe with any justice. The guard was of course standing next to the Men's Room Entrance. He wasn't guarding it, he was entering it. Who took the bad beat here? Why'd he take the bad beat? He wasn't observant. He had all the information in front of him, and yet, needed to take another metaphoric card.

I've digressed again, or maybe I haven't, I don't know. I tend to do that, when I'm rambling. If you've made it this far, congratulations, as I might come to a conclusion soon. If you didn't get here, you're not reading this sentence. Made you stop and think, didn't I? I don't necessarily know how to recover from a bad beat, although, I do get to write about them. However, having promised you my last bad beat story above, I won't be taking this option anymore. As for the rest of you, taking a step back, and observing might be the way to go. There's also self evaluation as a tool. You can do this at the poker table, and hopefully avoid busting out. In life, it's a little more complicated, although, I can tell you that poker is cheaper than therapy, at least for me, and leave you with the following thought, "What if there were no hypothetical situations?"

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach .

e You next week.

isclaimer: Mike's views probably don't reflect anyone else's that you know, and sometimes, not even necessarily his own. If you have an opposing view, or would like Mike's take on your favorite not necessarily related to poker topic, please send your comments & questions to Mike . If you'd like to discuss this article or poker in general, feel free to join in the discussions at the All-in Lounge .